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Article 4
Death
Cristina Z. - Milan (Italy)
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Death is the stimulus driving mankind, since the dawn of time, to seek the existence of a “Paradise” or a “Continuation” after this life. If man, from birth, believed himself to be immortal, how likely would he be, and how much would he desire, to search for contact with the transcendent?
Do we have to wait until we are afraid that we really are dying before we learn to live here and now, or can we do something before that?
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One morning, a few days ago, just before I got out of bed, I closed my eyes for a moment and saw before me the image of a gravestone, I tried to get a better look at it, and at the top I saw my photograph, and on the right, at the bottom, a bunch of flowers.
Imagine, my grave!!!
At first I was astounded, and perhaps a little afraid, I started to list all the ailments of the moment, to see if I had overlooked something, if that little pain that had troubled me so much three days previously was perhaps something more serious that I had taken too lightly.
Probably, if it hadn’t been for the Work we are doing and for all the times we have read and heard about “dying to yourself” I would have reacted differently, but after a few seconds the shock and fear left me, and the image of that grave remained before me, and continues to remain.
Now after that dream, which I am sure I did not have by chance, I am trying to make more effort, trying to live moments with greater intensity, to pay more attention to the little things. I know that I should have done this Work a long time ago, but all too often I forget that I will die.
I wondered:
After what I have read, and especially after what our guide has taught us, what have I “really managed to do”? Have I managed, at least for a moment, to feel “dead”, to set aside my pride, my selfishness, my jealousy, my need for attention? Have I managed for a moment to feel “empty” in order to listen to my beating heart, to hear the voice of the Master, to hear a Friend’s whisper?
No, I don’t think so. Or perhaps I have, but the voices inside me drown out their voices.
Sometimes I hear a shout: “I’m here, wake up! Where are you running to, what are you looking for out there, stop a minute”. But it lasts a fleeting moment, and, taken up in the whirlwind of daily life, I go back to my running.
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Have you ever thought about the place where you will be buried? Try to imagine a nice white gravestone, a frame with your most recent photo in it, perhaps from your last holidays or from your new identity card, and nearby, a lovely bunch of flowers, your favourites, a
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nice bunch of red roses brought for you by friends who loved you so much. But think, before closing your eyes, did you remember to embrace your partner, did you say goodbye to your friends with a warm smile and no ill feelings, did you say to your nearest and dearest “I love you”, before “falling asleep forever” did you remember to repeat His Name.
Jesus said:
There was a rich man with many goods. He said: “I will use my riches to sow and reap and to plant trees and fill the granaries with grain, until I lack nothing”. He thought these things in his heart, but that night he died.
Only by leaving the past behind us and learning to live to the full in the present can we truly succeed in dying without any regrets.
Death is the key to open the door of faith, because by throwing away all the things that we like so much we can learn to feel, and to do what is really useful; not like robots but like lovers following the scent of the Loved one, and living in anticipation of joining Him.
My friends, help me to remember that we are not immortal;
My friend, help me to let myself go in the arms of the Loved one, to open that door and pass over the threshold that keeps me far from home.
Cristina Z.
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